Self-esteem is defined as how we feel about ourselves and how we value ourselves. If a child is raised in a family where his/her parents are not able to validate their feelings, thoughts, or ideas then he/she is the one who has low self-esteem. If a child is called names, neglected, constantly criticized as a child, chances are they don’t feel great about themselves. This follows them into adulthood and may have changed the course of their life.
Low-esteem is one of the heaviest pieces of emotional baggage that one can carry. Imagine dragging a 50 kgs ball tied to your leg from the time you are a child till you die. We don’t create that ball or baggage, most of the time it comes from messages from parents, teachers, friends and it has stuck around as their messages became ingrained in your brain.
A simplistic example would be being bullied as a child on the playground with names making them feel small they were tying this baggage or ball on your leg. Therefore their bullying would have farther reaching effects than just that day. If it happened repeatedly these thoughts take root and influence how you see the world. It shaped how the child feels about themselves as they may be angry at themselves for not doing more to protect themselves at the moment.
If a child didn’t have the confidence to design a life of their choice he/she may be living a life that is not true about them. If he/she dislike themselves to the degree they feel unloveable they may be living alone when they would prefer a partner. They may not be socializing as they fear ridicule and rejection.
I aim to provide you with a starting point and a feeling of hope that whatever course you are on can be corrected. We are all in this boat of life together and we all have doubts about ourselves at some point. It’s about not letting the doubt win. It’s about learning emotional tools that allow you to feel as good as the next person. Because you are.
Here are some points to remember always when you feel low:
- Recognize and respect your own thoughts and feelings.
- See life as a process, not a time occurrence.
- Everyone makes mistakes along the way. No exceptions.
- Face the fears don’t run away from it.
- Ask yourself the right questions.
- Eliminate negative thoughts FEEL GOOD FOR LIFE